Saturday, August 22, 2009

Living with In-Laws

Before I go further, let me clarify that all that is written here is purely based on my thoughts. No offense please.

Living with in-laws, some might say NO! Some might say ok (tapi dalam hati sebenarnya tak nak), some would say nak!nak! and some just don't bother. So which category I fall into? I should say, I'm in the second category. I don't say I don't mind living with in-laws. I do mind, a lot actually. When I told my friends that I'm going to stay with Johan's family after we get married, I received various feedbacks. Most of them have doubts of me living around in-laws.

Why? Because I'm kinda lepas balik kerja, duduk dalam bilik diam-diam, mandi, turun makan dan tidur pukul 10. Usually at home during weekends, I wake up at 9am. Kununnya nak balas dendam sebab weekdays asyik bangun awal pukul 5.30 pagi dan pergi kerja pukul 6.20 pagi. So di situ, tak cukup tidur. And at home, I'm a bit pampered. A bit, ok! Not always. Mom's a housewife like FOREVER in her life, so she tends to manage everything in the house. I did help occasionally, lipat baju, bersihkan kandang kucing-kucing saya yang gemok tu, sidai baju, cuci toilet, kemas bilik, only when I have the time. And I hardly cook. Mom prepares everything, I wanted to help sometimes but she just have this habit of prefers not having helpers around her. So that's why she does everything herself and I will only help her when she calls for, which is rare. So that explains, why friends find it a bit impossible for me to live with in-laws.

Kalau duduk bersama dengan in-laws, kena bangun awal. Tak mungkin kau nak tidur exceeding 7am, even on weekends. Kurang sopan nampaknya. Nanti apa pulak in-laws akan kata. Dan kena rajin ke dapur menolong apa yang patut. This should be no problem, I like to cook just malas je. And I guess, I have the same habit like my mom does. I prefer to operate alone, not having helpers. Rasanya akan jadi lagi kucar-kacir bila ade helpers. Bersama in-laws, apa yang kau selalu buat kat rumah kau dengan ibu bapa kau sendiri agak terbatas. Mungkin juga sangat terbatas. Kalau di rumah selalu berseluar pendek ke hulu ke hilir ke atas ke bawah, tapi bila dengan in-laws, takkan kau nak pakai macam tu? Lagi-lagi depan bapa mertua. Tapi saya rasa pakai macam tu depan ibu mertua lagi mengundang maut berbanding bapa mertua. Ye tak? Nak tak nak, kau kena beli stok seluar panjang dan t-shirt loose banyak-banyak. Tak pun pakai je baju kelawar. Jangan mimpi lagi kau nak beli baju dan seluar tidur cantik-cantik kat FOS. Kalau in-laws jenis tak kisah sebab mereka pun lebih kurang takpe, kalau tidak, awas! Tapi semoden-moden mana pun in-laws, mereka pasti tak mahu menantu mereka pakai boxer di rumah.

Lagi satu, takkan kau nak online je dan tengok tv sepanjang hari di rumah dan goyang kaki macam kau selalu buat kat rumah ibu bapa kau? Makan depan tv lagi baring-baring, gelak kuat-kuat tengok Senario. Kurang sopan. Nak tak nak, kau kena jadi perempuan melayu terakhir. Lepas tu bila keluar jalan-jalan tengok wayang dengan suami, in-laws akan pandang je. Kenapa? Sebab dah tiap-tiap minggu asal cuti Sabtu Ahad je korang keluar tak lekat kat rumah asyik makan sedap-sedap kat luar. Dah jadik kes menantu malas lak. Nanti kawan-kawan nak datang melawat atau saudara-mara kau nak menjenguk pengantin baru pun agak kurang selesa sebab in-laws ada. Nak buat party tupperware dengan member kamcing pun susah. Kalau bestfriend kau yang kepoh datang nanti dapat jelingan maut lagi sebab bising sangat bile berborak. Haih. Bila duduk dengan in-laws, terpaksa berlakon banyak. Hipokrit. To tell you the truth, I much prefer to stay alone with my husband after we get married. We are at free to do everything and anything we like, and anywhere too. Mom always tell me, "bila dah kawen nanti, duduk la berdua. Cari la rumah sendiri, sewa la rumah kecik dulu flat pun takpe, lagipun duduk berdua je. Kalau boleh jangan duduk dengan family. Menantu perempuan dengan menantu lelaki tak sama situasinya bila duduk dengan mertua".

Haih...macamana ni?

6 comments:

Quiyah August 22, 2009 at 4:10 PM  

hi dear..

I have the same perception as u do about staying with the in laws..

once when we got married, we may stay with my mother in law.. which i think it would somehow affect my freedom-ness.. Somehow i may suffer a bit. I just hope that it would only be for the first six months we become husband and wife.

early next year, we might find a place of our own, hypothetically speaking. Coz, he worries leaving his mom all alone. but to tell u the truth, his mother has mention to us a few times, that its better for us to find a place of our own.

I feel berbelah bagi. I do fall in the second type.. the one that says ok but in the heart screaming a big no. things that we did for our loved ones eh? I just hope, i dont have to deal with the scary mother in law (altho she is not the type), but still takutla..

well, good luck to u.

Sobby August 22, 2009 at 9:09 PM  

hi babe, yeah, ur right. All future brides will feel the same thing as what you are feeling right now bout this topic...

like in my case, i tak tinggal kat rumah yg sama, tapi rumah yg tunang i dah beli tu terletak dlm less than 10 minutes je jauhnye dari umah mak ayah dia.. so, kira dkt ar gak...

i risau takut mak dia dok nak ajak gi sana sini la, gi pasar la, teman sana sini la.. esp weekends, i suke lepak umah je.. u n me sama je, perangai agak sama and my mum pun pamper me jugeks.. i wonder how i am goin to face life as a wife nnt.. huhuhu.. no more lepak2 tgk tv pas balik keje, no more baring2 n bgn lmbt on weekends..

*sigh*

BUT, its sumtin that we HAVE to face lar.. terpaksa. Kalau nak kawen, u kene galas tanggungjawab tu. Then nak jadi mama lagi kan? Tu tanggungjawab BESAR gak tu... fuh.

Insyallah we need to be positive and try to handle the situation well okay?

U can do it, babe. ;)

Elly ANAILLE August 23, 2009 at 10:45 AM  

quiyah: good luck to you too! my in-laws are nice, it may take some time for adjustment living with new family.

sobby: sama la! Johan's house is just as near as his parent's at. maybe just 3 mins away? hahaha! let's be positive rite? i'm sure we can handle it.

"D" = Diana = Dianapauryvers August 23, 2009 at 1:37 PM  

Ally...kalau ikut D,i x nak tinggal dgn in-law....
kalau kahwin,i akan pindah balik rumah saya sendiri x pun tinggal dekat dgn my parent...
kalau tinggal dgn in-law sangat leceh,kena siap2 masak,awal bangun,kena buat baik2 je....
nak mesra dgn husband pun x boleh di depan mereka,biar mesra di bilik pun x boleh kuat...
aduh!!!!sengsara....
kalau tinggal bersama parent,x larangan x boleh pakai pendek2 sebab dah biasa kat rumah,lebih2 lagi ada org akan siap2 sediakan semua...
boleh lagi manja dgn my parent...

ainulfadz August 24, 2009 at 8:56 PM  

hai there! nk share my experience living with in-laws.my parents in law sgt baik tp saya tak selesa.yelah nk pakai seluar pendek tak blh nk seksi2 tak blh.nk manja2 dgn hubby pun susah.kdg2 bila blk keje kita sgt penat tp tak blh la nk malas2.kena la rajinkan jgk diri tlg diaorg.skrg sdg bz cr rumah. i want my own life with hubby. hope blh dpt la rumah secepat mungkin.huhuhuhu

Elly ANAILLE August 25, 2009 at 10:42 PM  

ainul: good luck to u babe! my future in-laws pun baik tapi tula..like u said, nak manja2 pn x blh. kna la rajin2 walau pnat balik keje. wuuu...x syiok!

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